Realizations
by NellietheMarvelous
Summary: Oneshot Lisbon and Jane get in a fight after an interesting event. "I'm sorry I ever made the mistake of falling in love with you!" A hand flew up to her mouth in shock as she realized what secret she'd just spilled in a fit of rage. Jane's face softened.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentalist, the characters or even this idea. **

**A/N: This was written for the August Challenge over on Jello-Forever. The challenge was Mistakes. SO here's my two cents. :) Well technically this is only one cent. I have more. This one is the angsty kind and I'll have a happier one too.**

**Lisbon centric! Un-beta'd so you know how this goes. Any and all mishaps are my own. :) **

**_Italics = Flashback._**

**Mistakes**

_"I've had enough of this Jane. I would appreciate it if you'd let me in on your stupid stunts so I can try to keep injuries to a minimum." The emotions coursing through her veins ranged from fear to anger, to love. The last one wasn't even a shock to her anymore. It just became second nature, like breathing._

_"You weren't supposed to be there." He acted mad, and she knew he probably was. The woman he suspected of murdering her own three year old daughter had gotten away from them. There was now an APB out on her car but that didn't make anything better._

_"Oh? I wasn't supposed to be there huh? My case Jane. I'll go where I damn well please!" She wasn't supposed to be there, Patrick Jane had left alone to 'question' the woman using his own special techniques and had purposefully avoided telling them where he was going._

_"Well then be prepared for injuries when you don't stay put!" _

_"My wrist is broken in two places and I have a concussion because of you." She hadn't meant to say that but it just tumbled out before she could stop herself. The look on his face went from one of anger to one of hurt and confusion. The anger she could handle, he was mad that she foiled his plans but the hurt was too much._

_Jane hadn't noticed that Ms. Pritchard, his suspect, had rigged the house to blow at the press of a button until she was already out the door and in her car. He'd never look at garage door openers the same way again. He hadn't been worried about himself, but the beauty now standing glaring at him had been following him. How else would she have known where he was? He had been worried about her, and Cho for that matter._

_"You were supposed to be here!" Jane had never shouted, actually shouted at her before and it felt like she'd just been slapped in the face. He was staring at her with a look in his eyes she'd never seen, at least not directed at her. It made the anger she was feeling burn from the inside out._

_"Then I'm sorry for trying to look after you! I'm sorry I cared enough to worry that you might be in danger! I'm sorry I ever made the mistake of falling in love with you!" A hand flew up to her mouth in shock as she realized what secret she'd just spilled in a fit of rage. Jane's face softened a little as he tried to take a step towards her but she backed away, shaking her head. "We got a tip that there was a bomb in that vicinity. I saw your car when Cho and I pulled up and panicked okay? No, you'd be dead if I hadn't barged in there but I didn't get a thanks. All I got was you and your stubbornness saying that I shouldn't have been there."_

_"Lisbon, I..." _

_"Just get out!" With those final words said, Jane nodded in defeat before walking away still fuming, and leaving her alone to realize what she had just done._

_********_

Teresa Lisbon remembered all the times when she was a little girl that she had come home crying because she had done something wrong in school. Her definition of wrong usually consisted of the teacher asking her to be quiet or not getting a good enough grade on something. Her mother would scoop her up in her arms, hold her until the tears stopped and repeatedly explain that everyone made mistakes. Even when she was just a kid, Lisbon had been a perfectionist. It just wasn't in her blood to be happy until she was completely satisfied with her work.

It may have been her mother who taught her about learning from your mistakes but it was her father who proved that everyone did indeed make them. The biggest one he ever made was after her mom was killed. The drinking had started then, leaving him passed out or wasted all of the time. Kids from school starting spreading rumors about her family but she had ignored them and asked her brothers to do the same. She remembered the first big mistake she had ever made, the scars were still just as fresh as they were back then. One day after school she mouthed off to the man she used to call dad, telling him he needed to be there for his kids, for her and that he couldn't keep drinking the way he had been. She stood up for herself, for what was left of their family. A few hours later he was dead. She had labeled it as the biggest mistake of her life and she'd just made another one that could easily run a close second if she didn't think of a way to fix it. It involved a man, yet again, but a different kind of man.

Patrick Jane was the consultant but also the friend. He'd become so much more to her in the last few years than she would have ever guessed. Her heart ached for him, in more than just a friendly manner. That was another mix up; falling for a man who was so set on revenge for the deaths of his wife and child. There was no way she could stop it though, she fell despite trying not to. She fell hard and now he knew. All because of their stupid fight, he knew.

The fight that they created just minutes ago hadn't been their usual witty banter and bickering. No this was a knock-down drag-out fight that left them both emotionally drained and hurting. Tears were streaming down Lisbon's face and she wasn't even trying to stop them. Perhaps she should have been. Anyone could walk in at any minute and catch her but the only person she wanted to see was the same one who had stormed out just seconds ago. She'd blame it on the pain in her head if anyone questioned it.

Lisbon found herself sitting on the edge of the sofa in her office, head in hand, hating what had just happened between them. She couldn't believe she'd messed up this badly. Everything he had said was probably true but she was so angry at him for going by himself. No, that wasn't entirely true. This was Jane he always went places by himself that he shouldn't. She was so angry that he could have been caught in the explosion and died. She was angry that he didn't seem so worried about it, no doubt he'd be right back out there pulling more stunts like this as soon as they received a new case. She really wished he'd be a tad more careful.

He'd left without a fight, actually left. He wasn't on the couch in the bullpen, or in the kitchen making coffee or tea. No he was gone and she had no idea where he went. Her head was throbbing with each breath she let out and her wrist was beginning to ache. Jane had been lucky, he got away with minor bumps and bruises. The injuries hadn't been because of him, she couldn't believe she'd said that. Why was it that whenever she got angry she always ended up saying something she wished she could take back?

Something like this shouldn't tear two people apart, it should bring them closer. It wasn't fair that this could cost them so much. She didn't want to lose Jane, she couldn't lose him. Lisbon knew she had to somehow fix the mess she had made, so the mending started with a text message. She knew she couldn't have saved her father all those years ago, but she could save her friendship with Jane.

Come see me tomorrow morning. My place 6. I need to tell you something. -- TL

There was no point in trying to track him down, and it'd probably be best if they let the hurt and anger die down a little bit. She didn't want to go ten rounds with him again. It only served to make them look like fools. It brought out secrets that were better kept hidden, things better left unsaid. Like admitting she was in love with him, she knew he'd bring that up the next time they talked. In reality, she wanted him to. Maybe it was weird but she needed him to know that she didn't really consider falling for him a mistake. It was anything but that and she silently prayed he would answer with an okay or some witty remark. She didn't know how to apologize if he said no.

Lisbon's over worked, tiresome mind didn't rest until a reply came hours later as she was crawling into bed. She took it as a good sign that he at least acknowledged her message after the things she'd told him. A small hopeful smile came to her face when she read it, only Jane. He always knew how to brighten her mood and even though they'd practically been at each others throats maybe something good could come out of this. Only time would tell.

I'll bring breakfast. Everyone signs peace treaties over a good meal.

Lisbon wouldn't let this one fight, fueled by emotions neither of them were used to, destroy them. That'd be a horrible mistake and she'd made enough of those.

**_a/n: I didn't go into details on what actually happened because thats not the type of story this is supposed to be. That's all for this one folks. Not my best work, but I'm satisfied. Be sure to let me know if it was any good or just plain rubbish. I'm a little biased on these things :). _**


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